One of the best parts about nice weather is sleeping with the window open. Fresh air...constant breeze...annoying fucking bird noises...
Obviously that last one is not cool.
It was like a scene from a movie or something. Two birds were so incredibly annoying at 5:37am, I thought I would tell all the people that don't read this what they were saying to each other.
Bird 1 : Hey!! Hey Bird!! Hey, other bird !!
Bird 2 : me?! Are you talking to me?!
Bird 1 : yeah!! You!! The only other bird on this power line outside this open window!
Bird 2 : that's me!!! The only other bird!! Hey!!!
Bird 1: I was thinking...what...what do you think this power line does??
Bird 2 : power line?? I thought we were sitting on a squirrel highway system..
Bird 1 : No..I'm pretty sure it's a power line. I don't know what it does though..oh shit...another bird, play it cool...
Bird 3: Hey!!! Hey other birds!! Hey!!!
SLAM!!!!
Bird 2 : geeez...why did that window slam..hey!!! ANOTHER BIRD!!!
Friday, April 19, 2013
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Netflix Workout Playlists
So I had an idea on how to improve the Netflix user experience. I called Netflix to tell them about it and they told me to blog it out and see if it gets any response. So here we go...
So when I'm on the treadmill I like to watch Netflix on my cellphone to kinda make the workout go faster. I usually like to stay on the treadmill for about 30 to 40 mins at a time. ( treadmill, eliptical, stationary bike, ect. ) I like to try and break down the workout in how many episodes it will take before the workout is complete. For example, I know that "The Office" is 20 mins per episode. So I like to watch 2 - 3 episodes while working out. This usually keeps my mind off the fact that Im working out and makes it go faster.
The downside to this method is that when the episode is over, I have to stop, pick a new one, and start the workout back up again. ( usually my heart rate drops a bit in the 1 - 2 mins that this takes ) Sometimes I don't want to watch back-to-back episodes of the same show. Sometimes I need 40 min show ( Star Trek TNG! ) and a 20 min show ( South Park ), to change up the routine a bit. Crossing shows like this takes more time because of the search.
So it occurred to me...why not make a "work out playlist" or a " work out queue" ? Why not make a playlist so you can load up shows that you want to see that will seamlessly play them back-to-back so you don't have to stop? There could even be a function that you can just include how long you want to work out and based on your profile, Netflix can instantly build a playlist for you of your favorite shows. What if you included a generic calorie counter to keep track of your predetermined workout so at the end you have an idea of how the work out went? Or why not have fitness or workout videos in the Netflix Streaming option to work out at home? The types of videos in your playlist could be catered to your preferred type of workout. Say if you wanted a hard, fast treadmill workout, exciting action shows or movies could be loaded to keep you pumped up. Say if you wanted a lite, easy elliptical workout, then maybe sitcoms or romantic comedy's could be loaded.
I know this method would help me keep my workout going. Who said watching TV can't be healthy?
So when I'm on the treadmill I like to watch Netflix on my cellphone to kinda make the workout go faster. I usually like to stay on the treadmill for about 30 to 40 mins at a time. ( treadmill, eliptical, stationary bike, ect. ) I like to try and break down the workout in how many episodes it will take before the workout is complete. For example, I know that "The Office" is 20 mins per episode. So I like to watch 2 - 3 episodes while working out. This usually keeps my mind off the fact that Im working out and makes it go faster.
The downside to this method is that when the episode is over, I have to stop, pick a new one, and start the workout back up again. ( usually my heart rate drops a bit in the 1 - 2 mins that this takes ) Sometimes I don't want to watch back-to-back episodes of the same show. Sometimes I need 40 min show ( Star Trek TNG! ) and a 20 min show ( South Park ), to change up the routine a bit. Crossing shows like this takes more time because of the search.
So it occurred to me...why not make a "work out playlist" or a " work out queue" ? Why not make a playlist so you can load up shows that you want to see that will seamlessly play them back-to-back so you don't have to stop? There could even be a function that you can just include how long you want to work out and based on your profile, Netflix can instantly build a playlist for you of your favorite shows. What if you included a generic calorie counter to keep track of your predetermined workout so at the end you have an idea of how the work out went? Or why not have fitness or workout videos in the Netflix Streaming option to work out at home? The types of videos in your playlist could be catered to your preferred type of workout. Say if you wanted a hard, fast treadmill workout, exciting action shows or movies could be loaded to keep you pumped up. Say if you wanted a lite, easy elliptical workout, then maybe sitcoms or romantic comedy's could be loaded.
I know this method would help me keep my workout going. Who said watching TV can't be healthy?
Sunday, July 29, 2012
The Tale of a Homeless Man and a piece of cheese.
So for those of you ( that don't read this blog) that don't know, I got a new job! I am the Video Editor for Piedmont Healthcare. I am basically the video editor for a hospital system in Atlanta, GA. ( if you want an idea what we do : http://www.healthwatchmd.com )
Anywho, this post isn't about the inner workings of the video editor for Piedmont Healthcare, its about a homeless man and a piece of cheese.
My new job is located in Buckhead. ( a neighborhood of ATL) Across the street from my office building there are several lunch options including: Chick Fila, Subway, Jimmy Johns, Wendy's and a few others. I periodically go to some of the establishments for lunch to change things up, or if Keri doesn't make me a sandwich. ( thanks babe! ) So here begins the tale of the Homeless Man and a piece of cheese.
So to get to these restaurants you have to cross a pretty busy road. There is a decent wait at the stop light to cross the street. I like to take that time to reflect on things I am doing at work, things I need to do in life or just generally take in the environment around me. Standing on the corner of Peachtree / Collier road I was taking in my surrounds, from watching the steady stream of fancy Buckhead luxury cars to steady stream of Piedmont employes walking around in different color scrubs. Slowly panning my head back and forth looking at things, I saw a man sitting in the shadow of a massive dumpster next to Chic Fila. He would say things to people as they past and generally people were ignoring him, but some gave him a weird expression and two nurses started laughing when they past him.
When the light changed to let me cross the street I made a b-line for other side of the street, keeping my eyes on the shadow man. As I got closer I realized that this man was homeless. I still couldn't hear him but when he looked at me, he realized I was looking at him. When I came up parallel to him he locked eyes with me and screamed : " Bitch!! Give me a piece of CHEESE!!!"...
Not breaking stride I continued on into subway. I decided to get a foot long sweet onion chicken teriyaki sub.( one of the best ) When I got the cheese part of my sub, I hesitated with my order. I wasn't sure if the homeless man was sick, hungry, drunk or just in the need of a piece of cheese. I decided to indulge his request and ordered extra pepper jack for my sandwich with the extra on the side. After picking up my chips, drink and paying for the meal I headed to a table to put my cheese gift on a napkin. My meal in my left hand, my cheese gift stacked amazingly on a napkin in my right ( presentation is everything ), I headed for the door.
I was trying not to laugh at the site of me walking down a busy sidewalk carrying a sandwich, chips and a soda precariously in one hand and cheese in the other. I thought I saw some people giving me some strange looks, but I was on a mission....with cheese.
As I rounded the edge of the building walking towards the dumpster, the shadow man was still yelling at people. My approach caused him to halt in the middle of his routine and he looked at me.
this was our conversation.
"Bitch!!!....... ( I offered him the cheese ).....you brought me cheese??"
(me)" Yes sir. Didn't you say you wanted a piece of cheese? "
( he took the cheese )
" Yeah, I didn't think anyone would do it. I just got tired of asking for money..What kind is it? "
(me) " Pepper jack."
" Oh shit, that's whats up wit cheese!"
(me) " Yep. Its the best of all the cheeses."
" Hey man...( cheese bite ) can you spare some change?"
(me) "sorry sir, I spend my last change of the extra cheese.."
" Damn! Ain't that a bitch...ah well. Bless you....(looking at other bystanders while eating the last of the cheese ) Hey Bitch!!! Give me some change! I need to wash down my cheese!! "
So remember kids, not all homeless people want money. Sometimes they just want some cheese...
Anywho, this post isn't about the inner workings of the video editor for Piedmont Healthcare, its about a homeless man and a piece of cheese.
My new job is located in Buckhead. ( a neighborhood of ATL) Across the street from my office building there are several lunch options including: Chick Fila, Subway, Jimmy Johns, Wendy's and a few others. I periodically go to some of the establishments for lunch to change things up, or if Keri doesn't make me a sandwich. ( thanks babe! ) So here begins the tale of the Homeless Man and a piece of cheese.
So to get to these restaurants you have to cross a pretty busy road. There is a decent wait at the stop light to cross the street. I like to take that time to reflect on things I am doing at work, things I need to do in life or just generally take in the environment around me. Standing on the corner of Peachtree / Collier road I was taking in my surrounds, from watching the steady stream of fancy Buckhead luxury cars to steady stream of Piedmont employes walking around in different color scrubs. Slowly panning my head back and forth looking at things, I saw a man sitting in the shadow of a massive dumpster next to Chic Fila. He would say things to people as they past and generally people were ignoring him, but some gave him a weird expression and two nurses started laughing when they past him.
When the light changed to let me cross the street I made a b-line for other side of the street, keeping my eyes on the shadow man. As I got closer I realized that this man was homeless. I still couldn't hear him but when he looked at me, he realized I was looking at him. When I came up parallel to him he locked eyes with me and screamed : " Bitch!! Give me a piece of CHEESE!!!"...
Not breaking stride I continued on into subway. I decided to get a foot long sweet onion chicken teriyaki sub.( one of the best ) When I got the cheese part of my sub, I hesitated with my order. I wasn't sure if the homeless man was sick, hungry, drunk or just in the need of a piece of cheese. I decided to indulge his request and ordered extra pepper jack for my sandwich with the extra on the side. After picking up my chips, drink and paying for the meal I headed to a table to put my cheese gift on a napkin. My meal in my left hand, my cheese gift stacked amazingly on a napkin in my right ( presentation is everything ), I headed for the door.
I was trying not to laugh at the site of me walking down a busy sidewalk carrying a sandwich, chips and a soda precariously in one hand and cheese in the other. I thought I saw some people giving me some strange looks, but I was on a mission....with cheese.
As I rounded the edge of the building walking towards the dumpster, the shadow man was still yelling at people. My approach caused him to halt in the middle of his routine and he looked at me.
this was our conversation.
"Bitch!!!....... ( I offered him the cheese ).....you brought me cheese??"
(me)" Yes sir. Didn't you say you wanted a piece of cheese? "
( he took the cheese )
" Yeah, I didn't think anyone would do it. I just got tired of asking for money..What kind is it? "
(me) " Pepper jack."
" Oh shit, that's whats up wit cheese!"
(me) " Yep. Its the best of all the cheeses."
" Hey man...( cheese bite ) can you spare some change?"
(me) "sorry sir, I spend my last change of the extra cheese.."
" Damn! Ain't that a bitch...ah well. Bless you....(looking at other bystanders while eating the last of the cheese ) Hey Bitch!!! Give me some change! I need to wash down my cheese!! "
So remember kids, not all homeless people want money. Sometimes they just want some cheese...
Thursday, March 22, 2012
DO NOT USE - THANKS - MANAGEMENT
So me, Keri and Mrs. Bennett were in Jimmy Johns the other day, and there was a problem with the drink machine. Well a problem would be that the syrup was out on the Diet Coke. Well a small problem would be that there was no syrup for the Diet Coke...and I have to drink Coke Zero. THAT'S a small problem.
I guess the Jimmy Johns staff had a BIG problem with the drink machine. There were 2 "Slippery When Wet" signs by the drink machine. There were 2 people mopping the floor continuously and 1 guy scooping ice out of the ice machine with a giant scoop into a bowl.
I took a quick count of the staff and there were only 6 people working that Saturday afternoon. (which I thought was alot) That means that half the entire staff of Jimmy Johns was dealing with this ice / water problem. This didn't mean customers like me couldn't refill our delicious beverages.. it just meant that when we went to refill our drinks, all 3 of those people stopped and moved aside so you could refill your drink. If you needed more ice they had a bowl for you to get some fresh ice.
Well after a few people refilled their drinks and I realized that it wasn't a douchey thing for the staff to move for 10 seconds, I went to refill my drink. So I walked up, polietly waited for them to stop, move out of the way....then it happened.
................I saw.........................it............
A sticky note.. that read... DO NOT USE....(under that) Thanks, Management, placed on the ice dispenser.
seriously?
Seriously?!
Is this 3 person circus act NOT enough to show that there is a serious ice problem? Is the 2 people mopping the floor and capt. ice scooper, scooping ice away NOT a GIANT BIG FUCKING INDICATION that there MAY be a problem with the ice maker??
NO.. no its not. The sticky note is going to do it. A STICKY NOTE! A PURPLE STICKY NOTE IS GOING TO SHOW THE MORONS OF THE WORLD THAT THE MACHINE IS BROKEN.
Not the 2 signs, 2 moppers, Capt. Scooper or the sandwich staff that is now short handed...its a sticky note.
So to see what would happen I reached my cup up and pressed it to the ice maker. The nearest person said:" Umm excuse me..its broken." Then he tapped the sign and said: " See...there is a sticky note...."
AHHH!!!!!!!!!
ps. keri is awesome! ( now she has to post it to her facebook account)
the ennnddddd
I guess the Jimmy Johns staff had a BIG problem with the drink machine. There were 2 "Slippery When Wet" signs by the drink machine. There were 2 people mopping the floor continuously and 1 guy scooping ice out of the ice machine with a giant scoop into a bowl.
I took a quick count of the staff and there were only 6 people working that Saturday afternoon. (which I thought was alot) That means that half the entire staff of Jimmy Johns was dealing with this ice / water problem. This didn't mean customers like me couldn't refill our delicious beverages.. it just meant that when we went to refill our drinks, all 3 of those people stopped and moved aside so you could refill your drink. If you needed more ice they had a bowl for you to get some fresh ice.
Well after a few people refilled their drinks and I realized that it wasn't a douchey thing for the staff to move for 10 seconds, I went to refill my drink. So I walked up, polietly waited for them to stop, move out of the way....then it happened.
................I saw.........................it............
A sticky note.. that read... DO NOT USE....(under that) Thanks, Management, placed on the ice dispenser.
seriously?
Seriously?!
Is this 3 person circus act NOT enough to show that there is a serious ice problem? Is the 2 people mopping the floor and capt. ice scooper, scooping ice away NOT a GIANT BIG FUCKING INDICATION that there MAY be a problem with the ice maker??
NO.. no its not. The sticky note is going to do it. A STICKY NOTE! A PURPLE STICKY NOTE IS GOING TO SHOW THE MORONS OF THE WORLD THAT THE MACHINE IS BROKEN.
Not the 2 signs, 2 moppers, Capt. Scooper or the sandwich staff that is now short handed...its a sticky note.
So to see what would happen I reached my cup up and pressed it to the ice maker. The nearest person said:" Umm excuse me..its broken." Then he tapped the sign and said: " See...there is a sticky note...."
AHHH!!!!!!!!!
ps. keri is awesome! ( now she has to post it to her facebook account)
the ennnddddd
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Strange Radio
Have you ever heard a radio commercial where you find yourself listening to it DESPITE its stupidity? That happened to me today. I was driving home from the Horizon Theater's production of "Avenue Q" ( AMAZING SHOW BTW ) when I heard a radio commercial about an Epson laser printer. My first thought was: " This is a radio commercial for a printer...wtf.." The commercial continued and I began to phase out and reached for the dial when...IT...happened.
This is a quote from the commercial..
" ....its faster than a cheetah with a rocket strapped to its back..."
My hand stopped mid reach to change the dial.
It occurred to me...isn't EVERYTHING fast when you strap it to a rocket? No think about it. If you take anything and strap a rocket to it and launch, its going to go pretty fast. I will now look around my living room and name the first three things I see.
Tennis shoes..
X-Box Controller..
Sleeping Keri..
I guarantee you that if you strap any of these items to a rocket then launch it, it will be way faster then it was in it's native state. Except for Keri, whom is so awesome not even a rocket can speed her up journey to greatness...
The Ennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd.
This is a quote from the commercial..
" ....its faster than a cheetah with a rocket strapped to its back..."
My hand stopped mid reach to change the dial.
It occurred to me...isn't EVERYTHING fast when you strap it to a rocket? No think about it. If you take anything and strap a rocket to it and launch, its going to go pretty fast. I will now look around my living room and name the first three things I see.
Tennis shoes..
X-Box Controller..
Sleeping Keri..
I guarantee you that if you strap any of these items to a rocket then launch it, it will be way faster then it was in it's native state. Except for Keri, whom is so awesome not even a rocket can speed her up journey to greatness...
The Ennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd.
Monday, December 5, 2011
My interpretation of "The Nutcracker"
So I went to see the Georgia Ballet's "The Nutcracker" this weekend. Over all it was a pretty good show. The dancers we incredible, there were no technical mess ups and the show started and ended on time.
Maybe I should back track a little bit. When Keri finally convinced me to go to see Ballet shows (on the stage or in the theatre) I told her the only way I could go is if I could interpret them in my own way.
So here is MY interpretation of " The Nutcracker"
The story begins outdoors in the snow. Kids and parents are in a hurry to go somewhere for christmas. They are all dressed warm and in holiday colors, ready to get to their destination. Soon we learn that they are going to a party at The Kennedy's! The scene opens to an expensive house with a huge christmas tree. Soon the house is full of dancing servants and relatives all very excited to pay respects to the Kennedy Family.
After the Kennedy family dances and celebrates with the common folk their crazy uncle comes over with presents. Turns out the crazy uncle gives the lamest presents of all. He gives them a Nutcracker. The youngest Kennedy boy is so angry by this, he breaks his newly received Nutcracker. Drunk on peppermint schnapps the crazy uncle thinks he can make everything better by wrapping a handkerchief around the useless doll and gives it to the daughter. Confused by these events, everyone goes to bed. The youngest Kennedy is executed for his disrespect to the the crazy drunken uncle.
Seeing the opportunity to be the new favorite child and future supreme ruler of the Kennedy Empire, the daughter does a lot of LSD and casts a spell on the tree to grow into the ceiling ruining her family's house. While she is bewitching Christmas decorations an Evil Battalion of Giant Alien Rats attack the house! Being a secret evil child sorcerer / child run sweat shop owner, she summons her army of children to fight the alien rats. After an adorable battle where the Rat Emperor is slain by the guy on the Pringles Can with a sword, the daugher then commands her bed to take her away from this all to her magical Castle where she will assume the new throne as the Evil Childlike Queen of Kennedyia.
Along the way the Childlike Queen's magical bed gets lost. They stumble upon a snowy forest meadow full of homeless ballerinas. The surprisingly well groomed and well nourished dancing hobos then try to distract her with dance and coordinated attempts to get her to stay so they can eat her. Did I mention they were homeless CANNIBAL ballerinas? Their dance and tactics not having any effect on the Evil Childlike Queen of Kennedyia, she then commands her magical bed takes her to her new castle.
Upon arrival the Evil Childlike Queen of Kennedyia is presented with giant candy and presents. Enjoying this, she instructs all of her servants and guests to dance in her honor or be killed and fed to her magical bed. The guest list includes, the arabian genies of arabia, the fruit roll up fairies, a weird chinese dragon/tiger hybrid(that I shall call : a drager) 3 russian acrobats and an extremely fat lady that gives birth to 12 already dressed and dance trained kids who run around the room dancing then are sucked back up her huge dress. (who I'm thinking now was a man) The whole kingdom of Kennedyia gathers in her honor with hopes of not being killed.
The Evil Childlike Queen of Kennedyia gets tired of all the dancing, she sentences them to death and summons her flying carousel horse to come down from its hiding place of...the celing...and carry her away to a new planet where she can have proper dancing servants and no weird Dragon / Tiger hybrids or cross dressing fat men with kids in their tummies.
THE END.
Over all I thought it was a good show. You should see it!
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
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